Roumei Beauty Hotel – Taipei

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Address: No.9 Lane 64 Sec. 2 Jianguo North Road, Taipei 104, Taiwan
Website: http://www.beautyhotels.com.tw/

Roumei Beauty Hotel is our usual go-to hotel in Taiwan, partially because it’s clean and affordable, but mostly because of the proximity to Alex’s grandmother’s house. We always upgrade to the Executive Suite because it includes a jacuzzi tub!

The first time we stayed there Forest Gump came on TV and Alex (of course) had never seen it, so we started watching it. But she wanted to take a bath, too. Solution? There’s a tv over the bathtub and speakers in the bathroom to play the sound. Awesome.

Plus, they have those fancy toilets with all the buttons that you kind of want to push because you want to explore what kind of technology could possibly be built into a toilet, but then you’re also worried about the possible uncomfortable consequences that might come from pressing those buttons. Especially when they are written in another language.

Last time was…Weird

I will say, though, that the last time we were there left a bit to be desired. Roumei Beauty might be going downhill. For one thing they changed their cable, no big deal, but apparently it meant that the TVs in the bathroom don’t work. We weren’t really planning on using it anyway, but still. You want it to be there in case you want it. Like exercise equipment.

I was woken up one morning by the loudest, cartoonish sex noises coming from next door. I mean, this was like the moaning/squealing sound effects people use when they’re over exaggerating for comedic effect. Moaning isn’t really right though, it was more like a karate studio full of girls just practicing the yelling part. Ayah Ayah Ayah. And it went on for way, way longer than was necessary. Experienced-porn-actor-long. At 9 in the morning. I don’t know what kind of operation Beauty is running now, but I guess it was impressive?

And this was the real kicker: we used the tub on the last night, just because it was there, and you have to use it.  The bath was fine, I mean, it’s a big tub; two people fit in there fine without all the weird knotting of the legs so everyone can fit. So I wanted bubbles. It’s got jets. What, am I just going to sit there in flat water like some kind of poor? It started pretty slow and the bubbles are real small, so it was a little hard to tell at first, but it seemed like no one had used the bubble function since at least the hotel was build. Possibly earlier. There was a nice film of scum and dirt that then coated the outside of the tub as we drained it. Gross.

Fortunately, they appeared to have anticipated this reaction and installed a sauna in the shower, so we could get in the tub and feel cleanish, then turn on the jets and feel disgusting, then get in the shower and rinse off, then sweat a bunch and feel gross again, then rinse off and feel like this was the beginning of some new chain of fad massage parlors.

Final Thoughts

So yea, I know I’m really selling this place, but even for us the jury is still out on whether we go back there next time we go to Taiwan. If we do we’ll definitely try the tub before getting in it.

Oh, one other weird thing. I’m not a big breakfast eater, so normally I don’t care about this stuff, but the breakfast in the morning is in the basement, which means no natural light so its super hard to feel awake being down there. Not something that is super apparent, but once you notice it it’s hard to forget. You’re welcome.

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